Birthday Parties

A child's birthday party should be an eagerly anticipated event, a highlight of any child's year. I have fab memories of my birthdays as a child: a few friends coming round for tea and games played on the lawn.

Today there is a myriad of things to choose from and none of them include playing at home. No, by the time you've looked at the various options - swimming, bowling, discos, cinema, clowns, and all the other entertainers - you could well do with a sit on the lawn! And that's only the start. You then have to decide on the menu to be served (sandwiches and jelly and ice cream would appear to be so last year, if not last decade, for the average 8 year old) and also the length of the party. All day - even a sleep-over - seems de rigeur.

My daughter's birthday falls on the same day as another little girl's from her class, and of course she is always invited to whatever we arrange. But last year the invitation wasn't reciprocated. The other little girl held a marathon - bowling, pizza hut, party bags, you know the sort of thing - and my daughter didn't receive an invite. To make matters worse, my daughter - who did invite the other child - arranged her party (a bar-b-q at home) on the same day, unwittingly of course. How could we have known? We didn't receive an invite. So we had the added problem of re-arranging our party.

This year I didn't want the same situation arising. I decided to face the situation and feeling mature, texted the mum in question to ask if she would be having a party, saying that I would make sure I didn't choose the same date again. I received a reply saying they weren't having a party. So we went for the date of our choice and arranged one at home. I don't have the cash to throw at a lavish affair so my daughter and I decided each child will paint a plant pot and when the paint is dry, fill it with compost and plant a flower each. They can then take this home with them. If the weather's bad, we can make some cookies and decorate them.

So it was with disappointment that my daughter came home from school yesterday almost in tears, tellling me that the same little girl was indeed having a party - Shrek 3 was mentioned - and that my daughter wasn't invited.

Why is it that children's birthday parties always cause such distress when they are supposed to be such happy occasions? And the competition is fierce - even the party bags are de rigeur. Yet it remains a shame that a happy, joyous occasion is marred in this way.

Oh well. I'm praying for sunshine. We're going to have a traditional party in the back garden with games and activities and a big group of children. And yes, we're having sandwiches and jelly and ice cream and iced gems and pass the parcel. Call me old-fashioned if you like. Only no, please don't. My party bags are lush. So this century. And my house will be rocking with music - karaoke no less. Joseph? Grease? We got 'em all. A fine time will be had. And you know what? The kids will love it. Because as great as it is to give them choice and variety, I still think what kids love most is being left to their own devices to run free and be themselves. At least when they're eight. As they get older that will change, and yes, we'll be up there with the rest of them. The stretch limo is booked. But for this year, bring on the fun, the innocence and the simplicity. And a large dose of luck. I'm hoping for a fab day.